Misdirected affection
by Profiling Hotly
Summary: H/P eventual romance. Set back in season 2 when Emily arrives. Hotch and Emily have a secret past. JJ and Hotch are best friends. A love triangle ensues. Inferences, feelings and intentions get misconstrued. Character focused story, looking at how each character's past influences the team dynamic.
1. chapter 1

Emily Prentiss tried to ignore the poorly veiled glances that were shot in her direction as she struggled making her way up the stairs, clutching the awkwardly large box that held all of her desk supplies. She couldn't quite remember the last time she had felt this nervous and yet she was determined to not let any of the curious onlookers even catch a glimmer of her anxiety.

She had wanted this for so long.

The BAU.

It had been her dream job in college. It was male dominated. Physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. It required compassion and strength. It was relatively clean; they hunted bad guys and they were restricted to abiding by the FBI's rulebook.

She'd always wanted BAU.

But life had had a different path in store for her. In her senior year of college she'd been headhunted by the CIA and she had known she couldn't really turn that down.

That only would have led to her career ending before it had even begun.

Yet knowing now the path that that choice had led her down, she wasn't entirely sure if she'd choose it for herself if she her time again.

She certainly wouldn't wish what she'd been through over the past ten years on anyone else.

Emily squared her shoulders, gripping the box just a little tighter as she drew from the inner well of strength she'd cultivated over her difficult life.

She confidently made her way along the catwalk, promptly rapping on the Unit Chief's door before she had a chance to talk herself out of it.

This was it.

"Come in."

"Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes?"

A nervous giggle escaped her mouth as she fumbled awkwardly with her box and let herself into the office. And then in a beat her calm crumbled and all of her nerves resurfaced in a wave as her eyes clapped upon the handsome man she'd met so many years ago.

And in that moment she was transported back in time; back to being that same gawky nineteen year-old girl he had met all those years ago. So unsure of herself. So acutely aware of him.

For all her training in etiquette and conversation, she had been so poorly equipped in dealing with personal interactions outside of the people in her immediate family. She hadn't moved back home to the US until she was seventeen. The scars of her time in Rome had still stung and she'd felt permanently haunted by her time there. She had been more closed off than ever upon entering her new school, quickly earning a reputation for being geeky and snobbish, consequently failing miserably at any attempt to make friends.

And she hadn't faired much better at college.

Instead she somehow had fallen into the grunge scene, finding it an easy way to grate upon her mother and simultaneously hide the pain she'd felt so deeply. It allowed her to push away those that could have truly cared, and to attract many who didn't.

So at nineteen, she had been utterly unprepared to meet a man like Aaron Hotchner.

A gentleman.

Assigned with the task of essentially babysitting her for the summer.

A man who apparently, _had_ cared, very much.

She almost cringed as her mind flitted back.

 _So_ awkward and unprepared.

She pasted on her best diplomatic smile.

"I'm Agent Emily Prentiss."

She dropped her box unceremoniously on the edge of his desk as she shook his hand, gripping tightly.

 _Strength Emily. Exude strength._

She blinked up at him, their eyes locking for a moment.

"How do you do?"

His opening statement was a blow more crushing than she had expected.

However equally as unexpected was the flip her stomach did when she saw the glint of recognition hit his eyes a moment later.

"Oh… you're ahhh… Ambassador Prentiss's daughter. I did security clearances for your mother's staff… uh… it was one of my first commands. I believe you were off to Brown at the time."

"Actually it was Yale."

"Ahh."

 _Crap._

She could tell from the way that he was looking at her that he had definitely not been expecting to see her today. And by extension, she was well aware that that meant that he was completely oblivious of her appointment to his team. Her insides began to churn uncomfortably as she used all her concentration to hide her panic and keep the conversation temperate.

Of course this would happen to her.

Her first day working in her dream job and there had been some colossal fuck-up in her promotion.

"What can I do for you?"

Despite her rapidly increasing heart rate she was glad he'd finally bitten the bullet. She wasn't sure how much longer she could have kept up with the small talk.

"Ahh... well, I guess I was hoping you could tell me where I could put my stuff."

"Sorry?"

"I'm supposed to start here… today… At the BAU."

He didn't need to be a profiler to see the nerves seeping out of her every pore. His appraisal was only further confirmed by the nervous giggle -and giggle was definitely the only word to describe that sound- that escaped her lips as she announced that she was supposed to be starting work in his team, today.

He knew his brow had fallen and his expression was no doubt anything but welcoming but in that instant he was more stumped than he could ever remember being in the past five years.

As a behavioural analyst who spent an average of sixty hours a week practicing his trade, there was very little that came as a surprise to SSAIC Aaron Hotchner. His ingrained habit of observing and filing away even the smallest details of information from all of his interactions and the interactions of those around him, meant that he always had some foresight into how life would continue to play out.

And yet he had been utterly unprepared for a thirty-three year old Emily Prentiss to walk into his office this morning, informing him that she'd been transferred into his team, to work as _his_ subordinate.

That was a sequence of events that had come as a complete shock.

And as this new information began to sink in further, his shock began to morph into irritation.

He was SSAIC Aaron Hotchner. He didn't get taken by surprise. He worked very hard to always be on top of his affairs, always at the front of all FBI news and business. He hated the political game that came with his title but he unwillingly always played along because he'd long ago realized it was a crucial part in protecting not only himself but also his team.

And that meant that someone had purposefully tried to pull a fast one on him, and he was having none of it.

"There's been a mistake."

"I don't think so sir."

"There's definitely been a mistake."

This wasn't some cosmic twist of fate; this was a carefully calculated ploy. He wasn't an idiot and despite his initial delight at finding himself reacquainted with the jittery brunette standing before him, he was now back on his game and wasn't about to be made a fool of.

Nobody screwed with him. Nobody screwed with his team.

And he knew better than to trust a Prentiss.

Thankfully just as his train of thought was leading him down some dark and angry corridors, a knock on the door broke him from his brooding.

"Oh… 'scuse me. Ahh… we're getting started."

"Thank you, I'll be right there."

As always JJ's timing was impeccable and he nodded at her in recognition as he began collecting his files and making his way toward his office door.

"I didn't approve this transfer, Agent Prentiss. I'm sorry for the confusion but you've been misinformed. Excuse me, it was ah… very good to see you again."

He was thankful that he'd had so much practice in reigning in his temper because he knew that he needed to remain calm and professional despite his utter annoyance at this development of events.

Emily watched slightly aghast as her new unit chief dismissed her and swiftly made his way out onto the catwalk before even affording her another moment to speak.

Not that she'd have much to say. She was much too flabbergasted at how quickly he'd gone from warm and polite to completely shutting her down.

She watched from the doorway as he continued down the corridor.

As he headed for the conference room his head shook slightly in disbelief, mind repeatedly running over every element of the past two minutes.

"Did you approve a new transfer?"

He already knew the answer Jason would give him. He was really only looking to express his own befuddlement.

He knew this chain of events was something he would have to address later, it wouldn't just go away. He couldn't let it. It was something he'd need to investigate.

But in the meantime they had a case and his focus was needed elsewhere.

"Nevermind. What have we got?"

* * *

A/N: I'm notoriously bad at finishing stories so I won't promise to follow through with this one. But I have a long, worked out plan of what I want this story to be, so fingers crossed. Hope you enjoy it :)


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: This chapter reveals some background between Hotch and JJ's friendship, giving you some insight into how they both feel about it. I just want to highlight a few things about this story:_

 _a) Hotch has recently (within the last six months) broken up with Haley._

 _b) Jack doesn't exist (I know… I'm sad about it too but it had to be done for the sake of continuity)_

 _c) I'm playing up the youth of all the characters in this story. I haven't decided on concrete ages but they are definitely a little younger in this story than is canon. I think in my head I have JJ at about 23 and Hotch at 32-33 at most. Hotch also (though he has some personal baggage) is yet to be completely devastated by the darkness of working at the BAU, so he is more jovial and generally just… lighter?_

 _Enjoy :)_

* * *

Several hours later Hotch found himself on the jet in desperate need of some caffeine. The case had barely started and he already felt as though he was running on empty. The next few days were going to be a real struggle. He was exhausted and he knew his agents were all weary too. He made a mental note to book the team a few weeks off rotation as soon as he could.

He made his way towards the jet's small kitchenette, an easy smile settling across his face as he found JJ working on two steaming mugs.

"One of those for me?"

She shot him a smirk as she continued stirring the hazelnut creamer into her coffee.

"No I thought Reid wasn't being annoying enough today so I decided to make him another cup" she retorted sarcastically, sliding the second mug in his direction.

His eyes crinkled slightly in thanks as he took the steaming beverage and leaned back against the counter across from her, taking a moment to appreciate her attempt at levity in what was shaping up to be quite a depressing day.

He wasn't sure how it had happened, but somehow in the last eighteen months the petite blonde had gone from being his subordinate, to being his right hand man, to now being one of his closest friends. Of course, he _was_ still her boss and she still very much played the Robin to his Batman in the field (her reference, not his), yet those roles had only served to fortify the strong bond they had formed. Her friendship and unwavering support had quickly helped him to not only trust her but also to view her like the little sister he'd never had.

He was self-aware enough to realize that his eagerness to take on that brotherly role was perhaps initially born from guilt. Though he'd done everything in his power to protect and love Sean while he had still lived at home, once he'd moved out and gone to college his relationship with his brother had disintegrated rapidly. He knew that his brother felt abandoned by him and begrudged the seeming ease with which he had built up a new life far removed from the darkness that lay upon their family home. Aaron had made every effort to disprove that sentiment, to give his mother and brother an out, and yet as time had passed Sean had grown from a helpless and blameless teen to a reckless and selfish adult. Aaron had struggled to not be critical and overbearing; his brother's laziness and self-pitying attitude never ceasing to grate him, especially considering the great potential he'd shown in his high school days.

Yet now with the relationship having crumbled to a phone call every few months and him having not laid eyes on the younger man for over a year, a nagging part in the back of his mind felt guilty. That he maybe shouldn't have been so hard on him: that maybe he'd acted more as another disciplining father than a concerned brother.

And so the opportunity to provide that protection, support and friendship to JJ had initially served to simply ease the guilt etched so deeply within his soul.

Like Sean, JJ was much younger than him and had her own vulnerability that he intrinsically felt compelled to protect. Hers however wasn't born from an abusive household but rather the haunting weight of confusion that came from having a sibling commit suicide. Her hurt was far from healed. She'd confided in him last year about how her parents had never let her talk about it, had never spoken about it themselves. They'd told her it wasn't healthy, that she needed to move on, not dwell on the past. So she'd grown a thick skin and she'd excelled in all that she could. But she was haunted and she harbored deep pain.

Adults could be so stupid.

So he'd jumped at the opportunity to share that burden, to be her rock: to let her start working it out, aloud.

He'd known at the time that it wasn't strictly professional but the nature of their work often made that line very blurry.

He believed that if she wanted to survive in this profession long-term, her sister's suicide was an issue that she'd need to make some sort of peace with. And he believed her talents were too great for him to not make the investment in.

At least that's how he'd justified it to himself.

So their friendship had progressed to many early morning coffees, car-pooling and lunches. They didn't really socialize outside of the office, not alone anyway, but he'd gotten better at giving in to her persuasions to join them on team outings, especially since Hayley had broken things off with him. Hotch had become the young agent's sounding board for all things: terrible dates, arguments with her parents, home renovations. And for him it was nice just having someone to vent to about the trivial things in his day: the guy in front of him at the bakery buying the last sesame seed bagel or being stuck on an elevator with Strauss for a whole eight minutes.

He was careful not to rely on her too much for the heavy stuff. He was frequently reminded of her youth and always consciously aware of his underlying position of power in their relationship.

And though she now shared in the horrors he saw everyday, she still seemingly held an innocence that had yet to be completely stripped of her.

And he knew that wouldn't last forever.

So he kept the darker thoughts that burdened him locked tightly inside, just as he had for most of his life.

He wasn't about to rip away her last shreds of innocence any faster.

For now it was enough that he had someone to talk to about the inconsequential.

Bottom line, his life was definitely better with her in it.

And he was beyond thankful for her.

"How many cups has he had so far?"

"Four."

"God…" he shook his head in amusement as he took a small sip of his coffee.

"Keep an eye on it for me… I don't want a repeat of Baltimore."

She giggled at the memory, taking a sip of her own beverage.

"Yeah… nobody wants that," she agreed.

Her eyes ran over the lines in his face. She could see the tension gathered at his temples and the rigidness in his shoulders. She'd been trying so hard for the past few months to keep his stress levels down. Between his separation from Hayley, Elle going rogue and the day-to-day horrific nature of their work, he had enough on his plate without having to worry about anything extra. And God knew the man already worried way too much.

She was terrified he'd collapse with exhaustion one of these days.

And she knew that without a doubt his worries today were more than the usual stress.

They had to do with that woman.

But she wasn't sure how to broach the issue without coming across as an overly suspicious and insecure young…girl.

Something she tried very hard to not appear like when she was with Hotch.

Actually, that was something she was trying very hard not to be in general but she was particularly conscious of it around Hotch.

She'd noticed lately that he had a tendency to sometimes try and shield her from things because of her age and she hated it. She didn't believe age was an indication of what someone could handle. She'd been through a lot more than most women her age.

Yet she didn't begrudge him for it. He was just being protective; it was in his nature. She actually found it a rather sweet and attractive quality.

But nevertheless she tried to avoid giving him any reminders of her youth.

However today she was really struggling to not break her self-imposed rule despite knowing how commenting would so poorly reflect on her own character. She simply couldn't ignore the fact that she was sure she'd never seen the man as perplexed as he'd been this morning when she knocked on his office door.

And his office door tended to be almost as revolving as her own.

It wasn't like him to be so thrown by a drop in.

So the curiosity was killing her. She wanted to know who the interloper was and what she'd said to throw him so off-kilter.

Of course she also wanted to help him work through whatever was worrying him so he'd relax and focus on the case.

But mostly the curiosity was just really eating at her.

And she bit her lip as she clutched her mug a little tighter and tried to school her features to look relatively neutral.

"So… that looked like an interesting meeting this morning."

 _There, that wasn't too loaded, right?_

For a microsecond complete exasperation washed over his sharp features. He had seen the curiosity lurking behind JJ's gaze when she'd walked into his office that morning and had known that it was unlikely she'd be able to refrain from attempting to get him to divulge something about who his mysterious visitor had been.

But he had hoped she'd be able to restrain herself: clearly in vain.

He sighed.

This was a conversation he had absolutely decided against having with her. The blurred line between professional and personal he often so struggled to find was sharply defined here. As much as he cared for JJ and was beyond grateful for her friendship and support, as a rule he refrained from partaking in any conversations with her that delved too deeply into his past.

And his past with Emily Prentiss was something he'd only ever spoken about to a half dozen people. It cut too close to the bone. It was an element of himself that he did not wish to share at the BAU.

The nature of their work meant that there was little room for privacy and secrecy in their lives. They worked long hours, spent many of those on the road practically living together and essentially spent all of their days trying to make sense of human nature: consequently bringing up many moments of their own past experiences to try and make sense of their unsub's sick mind.

There wasn't much about each other that they didn't know or at least hadn't privately ascertained.

But his beginning at the FBI and his experience working in the Prentiss household was something about himself that he was determined to keep out of the team's schema of knowledge. It was something he'd actively worked hard to do for many years now and he wasn't about to let the aberration of Emily's appearance in his office that morning change the privacy he'd established.

He realigned his face back into its trademark stoic mask, feeling a wave of defensiveness wash over him.

"I'm not sure what you mean, it was just a misunderstanding."

She cocked an eyebrow up, her brow furrowing slightly. She knew him too well not to recognize the flits of emotion that had crossed his face in that brief exchange.

She called bull.

"Come on Hotch, a misunderstanding? The FBI isn't generally in the habit of misunderstandings. Particularly not ones that involve transfers."

A small scowl settled across his brow as he placed his coffee down on the counter behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. It wasn't his full-blown glower but it was enough to make it clear that he didn't appreciate her line of questioning. He was tired and stressed; the last thing he wanted was to get into an argument with her.

 _Why does she always have to be so darn relentless?_

"Who said anything about a transfer?"

His tone was clipped and short, betraying his unbridled frustration.

"Hotch, she was carrying a HR standard brown box full of office supplies and paperwork. She seemed like a stylish woman, I'm pretty sure that wasn't alternative fashion for a handbag."

She knew her response was bitchy and could feel the scowl now etched on her own face, but she just couldn't help it. She'd known it was unlikely he'd tell her the full story but she hadn't expected that he'd be quite so rude about it.

They were generally so close now that she was exempt from his trademark icy reproaches.

She had forgotten just how much they stung.

As soon as he saw the hurt swimming in her baby blue eyes he felt a wave of guilt and shame overcome him.

This was exactly why he couldn't let her get too close.

There was a multitude of reasons why he worked hard to maintain some boundaries in their relationship, but the one that underpinned everything was that she'd been hurt and disappointed many times in her life and he didn't want to add to those wounds. He wanted to protect her: so he strove to be someone safe and stable, someone with consistency in responses to her so she always knew what to expect from him. That was what brothers were supposed to be and he didn't see how he could fulfill that role without his self-imposed boundaries.

He was too screwed up and if he let her get too close he knew he'd end up breaking her with his darkness.

He couldn't have that.

"Jayje… I'm sorry."

She started to turn away but he stopped her with a steady hand on her shoulder, stepping closer towards her and resting a comforting palm against her arm.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped" he repeated, staring straight into hers, begging for her to forgive him.

"I'm just really tired. I met Ms. Prentiss a long time ago and I just never expected to see her again. But everything's fine, I promise. Let's just focus on the case okay?"

She closed her eyes and forced herself to take a few deep breaths. It was a little hard to stay pissed at him when the warmth of his hand was burning through her shirt and setting her whole body alight.

"I'll buy you chipotle when we get back to DC?"

She couldn't dampen down the grin that spread across her lips, but worked hard to squint at him with mock suspicion.

"With chips and guac?"

He chuckled, relief flooding him.

 _Crisis averted!_

"Yes with chips and guac! I think I learnt my lesson after last time."

He grinning wickedly at her, shaking his head and pulling her into his arms before locking her head in a vice grip and giving her a quick noogie.

She burst out in laughter.

"HOTCH!"

She wriggled free of his grasp and punched him hard on the arm to which he feigned pain.

"You ass, you wrecked my hair," she pouted.

He titled his head, pretending to carefully consider appearance.

"You know it really doesn't look that different from bef-

Her hand came swinging towards his bicep again and he started to laugh as he swiftly moved to the right, avoiding her jab and grabbing his coffee before disappearing back into the main cabin.

"Hey! Come back here. I'm not finished with you Hotchner. Don't even think for a second that…"

* * *

 _A/N: Reviews are very welcome. Please let me know what you think? :D_


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